I find myself anticipating spring and summer like most of us….eagerly waiting for that first sunny warmer day to run around outdoors…dreaming of fishing off the dock in the sun, planning summer weekend getaways in the mountains, or the ocean coast line of Maine, deck barbecues, bonfires, riding with top down in my PT cruiser, jumping on the back of Nicks Harley….oh the anticipation of all the joys……..and each day I go to work…to another patients home I am confronted by the real fact of life that some of my patients won’t make it to spring…much less summer. A big part of my job in giving care is also sharing their memories and I find myself leaving each home with a heavy heart for those who will not get to anticipate their spring. Each season in hospice nursing I have discovered has its own unique set of hurdles for me to personally overcome. Some how I have to balance my feelings with the feelings of my patient…..somehow I have to suppress my feelings of joy of spring so as not to inadvertently hurt the feelings of my patient who won’t see spring…..boy and I thought the Thanksgiving and Christmas season was tough in hospice, it’s nothing compared to waiting on spring..and taking care of someone who no longer has a spring coming to them.
So again my dear Lord I pray make me your instrument to do your will and to find the right words to bring comfort to those who I cross from my world over the threshold of their doorstep into their world.